Physics teacher takes over the Islamic State

Newsweek, Business Insider, and many other news servers remind us that the boss (and chalif) of ISIS, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, was injured in a March airstrike.



Consequently, it was time for the ISIS to pick another chieftain. It turned out to be a former physics teacher from Tal Afar, Iraq named Abu Alaa Afri.




Al-Baghdadi's "main organs" are working – I am not sure whether they include his brain among the "main organs" – but the physics teacher would have many advantages.




We're told that Abu Alaa Afri is

1. the beloved protege of late Osama bin Laden (PBUH: Piss Be Urinating Him)
2. more important than Al-Baghdadi
3. smarter than Al-Baghdadi
4. a good public speaker
5. strongly charismatic (see the picture above)
6. the third most important commenter at Peter W*it's crackpot blog
7. an anti-quantum zealot
8. full of jihadi wisdom

So things will look rosy for the ISIS – up to the moment when this "cool loop quantum gravity guy" will be bombed away from the Earth, too.