LHC arrested a savior from the future

On April 1st, CNET in the U.K. ran an appropriate story about a strange man who was arrested at the LHC:

Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future

The young Gentleman with a bow tie and too much tweed for his age came from a scary future where the Higgs boson discovery has led to unlimited energy, the lack of poverty, and free Kit-Kats for everyone. Eloi Cole came back in time to protect the world from becoming the nation-less communist hellhole that our civilization is apparently destined to become.

Unfortunately, he couldn't find fuel for his time machine power unit, a device that resembles a kitchen blender. And to make things even worse, Cole himself was taken to a secret psychiatric asylum administered by the police; however, he managed to evaporate and no one cried because of that.

CNET quotes Cox as saying that Cole is harmless because he didn't mention the bloody black holes. And they remind everyone that Cole's visit was predicted by Masao Ninomiya and Holger Bech Nielsen, a string theory pioneer. ;-) Somewhat paradoxically, this piece of information is the most serious proposition of the CNET's article.




It's also true that an Islamic LHC physicist had been arrested half a year ago for his terror links - and that a bird has attacked the collider with a piece of bread just a month later.